falling back into trust

Once upon a time there was a little person...a child. The child learned that the world was not a safe place. When she grew to adulthood she thought that she needed to control everyone and everything around her to make sure that her world was ok. She held the reins. She was hypervigilent looking to see where the next threat would come from. Then she met kindness. Kindness came and stood right in front of her and said that it was ok to let go. She didn't believe kindness and tried to control kindness so that it could be dealt out to her in exact measures at the prescribed times. A knowable resource, to help her get through life. Kindness said, "Thats not how it works. Kindness is a gift. I am here for you but you can't ever know the extent of that, unless you let go of control and choose to trust." Trust feels like a risk. I am choosing to take that risk. I am falling back into the arms of kindness today. When you hold anything too tightly it will be squashed and limited in what it can give you. In relationships, the rich and wonderful opportunity to receive from another person is lost if we attempt to control the journey. I hope that this is food for thought and that you can mindfully sooth yourself enough to let go of those you are controlling. I am letting go and falling back into the arms of kindness today. Blessings Sandy

Restoration

Hello Readers 'Restoration' is such a beautiful word. Is has implications of mending that which is broken, healing hurts, bringing the beauty back to something/some-one who has become hidden behind the wears and tears of life. For the last month or two I have been working on a restoration project on the villa where I work. It has involved a process of bringing the front of the house back to the bare wood, filling the holes and gaps, sanding off the bumps and rough edges. One day as I was working I found underneath the paint the number 20, in large numerals, stamped onto the wood. It had been hidden under there for many many years. The house had been moved from elsewhere onto this spot. I was intregued about the origin of that number. My work as a therapist is very similar to this process at times. Often as people use the creative process in therapy, it helps them to expose the 'bare wood', the essence, the deeply known insights that are usually hidden underneath the grind of daily life, uncovering the beauty and the reality of what is there. Sometimes surprising gaps are discovered and how these have affected the person over the years begins to make sense. Nothing is judged. It just is. Some people decide not to 're-paint'. This enables them to start a life that is more authentic and honest. The wonderful outcome of this is that their connections with others are no longer based on a persona and at last intimacy is possible. Go well with these thoughts. Peace Sandy

Hope

Hello, my friends Over the last couple of years a few people have talked to me about 'hope'. Hope is present centred...and future oriented. To some has become equated with magical thinking. They become angry or frustrated at the thought of passively waiting for a hoped for outcome and have little respect for those that live in that way. Others equate it to faith in a higher power who is engineering their lives and working all things for good. These opinions have caused me to stop and think about the meaning for myself. I was in a group once where the person leading asked us to distil what we felt the purpose of our life was into one or two words. I came up with the words, "Hope-bringer". This was years ago and today those words still resonate with me. My desire is to convey to people that they can connect with their essence, their potential, their beauty, their creativity and the flame of life within. They can begin to live mindfully in the present moment and to be transformed by the renewing of their minds. Is hope still relevant? I believe so!! I hope for you. Sandy

Connecting the dots

Hello there I wonder who will stumble onto this blog today. Right now I am unsure what will emerge as I write. I am going to let whatever emerges to emerge and trust that, for this moment, it is just right. I don't know about you, but my brain keeps wanting to 'connect the dots', to make conclusions, to arrive somewhere, rather than being content to be on a now moment by now moment, journey of discovery. As I wonder about that, I notice that if I pull myself gently back to the present, I can be aware of the task of writing this blog. It can be approached as a fixed point goal (Skeates, 2009) or an emergent process. If I allow it to be emergent, my stress in doing it, disappears. What is becoming clear to me as I write? That I want to simply be here with you, where ever you are in the world. So that you know you are not alone. You are connected to me across the miles and I care what is happening to you. Also that whatever I have learned in my 56 years of living, I want to make available to you. That is my emergent insight. I have discovered the reason for this blog. Connecting the dots is not always possible on a cognitive level because we have only our thoughts and memories to draw upon. Real insight, in contrast, happens when we connect with the deeper truth, found in our hearts. Bless you on your own journey of discovery. Peace and love, Sandy

Why Wonderful Women Were on Waiheke!!!

What a wonderful weekend we have just had. 7 women together in a lovely house on Waiheke Island for a Creative Retreat. It was a rich, wonderful experiential, beautiful time of connecting as a group and processing as individuals, in a safe and respectful environment. We painted, talked, walked, ate together and even danced a little Flamenco on Saturday evening! We laughed, we cried. We learned to play the spoons. We found our voices. we learned that mindfullly eating a strawberry was a deeply moving and wonderful experience. We wove strands of our lives together, the shadow...and the light, into a beautiful carpet where we were connected to each other. We learned how to disengage from the perpetual narrative and be present to the now. I will never forget it. Why don't you join us next time. Let the flame burn brightly in your soul. Peace and love, Sandy

Let me introduce myself

Hello My name is Sandy Fabrin. I work as a therapist in Auckland, New Zealand. I have an interest in helping people, by using creativity to gain healing insights and to promote well-being. In my work as a therapist, I have noticed that so many people are ruled by fear. The restrictions and limitations that were originally imposed by family and society have become self-imposed. You, also, may feel that you have been attempting to break free of similar limitations. What could you be like if you gave full expression to who you are; if rather than being afraid of what others thought you began to give express your authentic self? Actually you are the only person on earth who can do that. It would be such a shame if the world never got to meet the real you...the full expression of you. I wish you well on your journey. Start small. Begin today. Express more of yourself in your words. Use your appearance. Use your work. Use your music. Deliberately shine. Peace to you. Sandy.

Under Spanish skies, last November